Worst of 2006: Honorable Mentions

Good grief. I thought I was never going to finish this post. I’ve been fighting router issues and a crabby server (well, unresponsive, so it’s probably the router again, actually) for the last five hours. Just getting a single picture uploaded was hard enough, then I’d have to fight to get the text to upload so I could see the picture. I’ve been dealing with this problem for the last several weeks, and now it’s getting to the point that I can’t download much anime, unless I switch routers to the non-wireless model. And if I do that, the rest of the family is cut off, and they complain, so I have to switch bac, and download at 1/20th the speed, suffering constant connection failures. What a pain in the arse. Anything (in the article) that’s still broken at this point is staying broken. Edit: fixed a few typos.

So don’t expect me to write a humorous intro to this list of Worsts that didn’t make the top ten of 2006. That was it.

10. Worst (Ugliest) Character Design
The Winner: Red Garden, for having the worst-looking women I’ve ever seen in an animé.

This is their good profiles.
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9. Worst “It’s Not Like That” Excuse by the Leads
The Winner: Busou Renkin, for Kazuki and Tokiko explaining that they can’t be boyfriend and girlfriend because Tokiko is Kazuki’s sister…

…to a group that contains Mahiro, his actual sister (on left, with her back to the camera).
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8. Worst Theft From Another Source
The Winner: Ghost Hunt, you have a call from Tim Burton. He wants the theme music from Sleepy Hollow back.

Sometimes this show gets fairly creepy…File #3 was was pretty good. One thing that impresses me: the show hasn’t taken the obvious tack of giving Mai (center left, comforting the other girl) some kind of super power. So far, she’s just an ordinary teen working an extraordianry job. Her very normality accents the weirdness of the others and the situations they find themselves in.
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7. Worst Feeling of Ignorance
The Winner: Me, anytime I watched Bakumatsu Kikansetsu Irohanihoheto, a katana-and-sorcery (and guns!) story set during the chaos of the Meiji Restoration & fall of the shogunate.

It is an alternate telling of that history, with an ancient evil stalking the land, determined to make that bloody era even more terrible. An equally ancient order is dedicated to bringing about its destruction, and a mundane troupe of actors seek an earthly revenge, while foriegn powers interfere in both the politcs and magic of the era.

The animation is superb (a few corners do get cut here and there, but the money saved by them is spent well), the English, when spoken, is usually authentic (I believe they outsourced some of it to Australians), and the memorable OP and ED themes are a ballad and pseudo-country, respectively.

It does a great job of weaving the story in and out of the actual historical events of the time.

The only problem I have with this show is the authenticity, in fact. Bakumatsu expects the viewer to know a great deal about the promiment people and events of the time, and so when it shows thus-and-so being assassinated, I’m left at a loss to know, “did that really happen, or are they telling us that history is going off the rails here?”

In case you can’t tell, I’m definately not panning this series. It’s a damn shame that it will probably never be released in R1 because of the background knowledge needed to appreciate it and not feel a bit lost.
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6. Worst Angst-Fest
The Winner: Karin. There were probably worse out there, but they were supposed to be angst-fests, I would think. This series passed itself off as a supernatural fanservice comedy, but delivered gushers of nosebleed and angst.

This was also runner-up in the “Most Misleading OP” category.
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5. Worst Name for a Military Unit
The Winner: Pumpkin Scissors.

And my reaction to the explanation of that name was like, “Whaaaaaat? I didn’t know she sniffed glue!”

On the other hand, this show did manage to make penis humor funny again. “Medical science will not be denied! Size LL!” Although, I don’t recall ever having an overzelous nurse that cute. (Overzealous, yes. Cute….not hardly.)
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4. Worst (or Best!) Engrish in a Theme Song
The Winner: Once again, Otome wa Boku ni Koishiteru takes the prize.

Please come with me away,
I give you anything my love,
Never falling days, my heart will love, so love, love, love.

The sad part is, those lyrics have been growing on me….
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3. Worst Understatement
The Winner: The Third runs off with this one, simultaneously scoring victory in the “Worst Battle Tactics” category. I’ll explain this one in pictures.

Balance of forces is not in favor of Side B.

A close up of Side A: The Third

Jyouganki: “Move out!”
Robot Commander B395V4A: “Sir, request permission to open fire?”
Jyouganki: “No need to. Just march right over them.”
Robot Commander B395V4A: “Roger-roger!”

The result…..

….and a classic understatement. No shit, Sherlock. (Note: Droid army parody prompted by Jyouganki’s immediate and unconditional imitation of General Binks: “Me give up!”)
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2. Worst Pointless Raunch-fest
The Winner: Girls High. From 10 teenagers in a single love hotel room, to pubic hair clippings, to sex toys, to four girls forcibly gang-stripping a guy, this show managed to combine stupidity, raunchiness, tastelessness, tackiness, and no social redeeming value, with the ability to make fanservice seem disgusting. (Assuming you don’t happen to think it was anyway, ya prude.)

Believe me: it’s not as good as this makes it look. All it needed was Excalibolg to cap off the crappiness.

Seriously.

*groan*
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1. Worst “What Series Are We Doing Again?” Confusion
Winner: Negima!? (The remake, or “alternate re-telling” as it’s called. The original is now out in R1, and supposedly contains more pointless fanservice. As if fanservice ever had a point. I mean, besides selling more DVD’s — or commercials, if broadcast.) Maybe this version should be titled PaniPoni Dash 2: Shotacon Silliness?

Frankly, the only reason this one didn’t displace the unripe cantaloupe from the top ten list was that I didn’t think of it in time. This looks like it might have been an intriguing and dramatic story (as dramatic as a story involving a 10-year old mage and schoolteacher can be), but if I wanted to watch PaniPoni Dash, I’d have bought PaniPoni Dash. Most bizarre aspect of this? According to Theron Martin, PaniPoni Dash is a parody of Negima! So the remake is parodying the original parody of the original Negima!?

Come again?

If Mahora Fansubs had just sung this bit, I’d have given them the ‘Worst Engrish OP’ award….

I actually have a review of this series half-done, but I think it’s time I dropped Negima!?.

And finally, a special bonus Honorable Mention:

The Worst “I Can’t Make up My Mind What To Make Fun Of” award has to go to Code Geass. I mean, what do I pick? The rollerblading robots? The absurd plot setup? The Americanophobia? The Geass power? A hero named Lulu who’s quite probably batshit crazy? The secret identities, girl named C.C., princess named Yuffie, cliffhanger endings, yuri and yaoi vibes, and a cat nearly undoing the hero…and a background so convoluted and poorly explained they had to do a highlight filler after only 8 episodes, just to explain it all! There’s just so much to make fun of in this show, it’s entertaining to watch on several levels. I think, “Lord GOD this show is dumb, but I like it!” And I do.

So, there you have it…. I guess, next I’ll have to get back to talking about commercial releases, though I don’t know if I’m going to do a 2006 Year in Review for those. I do have to nag Dr.Heinous about a certain write-up he promised… He owes a few paragraphs, I should think. 🙂