It’s War! Film at Eleven…

War has broken out in the otakusphere, as Anime Desho Deshou? has called for the eradication of Riuva. UN mediators are standing by to eat caviar and issue lengthy statements praising the willingness of both sides to talk, while the ethnic cleansing continues in figurine warehouses all across China. Meanwhile, several Democratic senators, led by John Kerry (D-Mass) issued a call for the withdrawal of American troops from all animé blogs “according to a phased schedule.” Steven Den Beste has produced a six-thousand word analysis on what this means to the Global War On Anime. Aziz of Haibaine has issued a statement of strict neutrality, and called on both sides to settle their differences “before events proceed too far.” Wonderduck has issued a Quack-Four alert for travelers to the Far East, advising them to be on the lookout for rioting otaku and battles between magical girls and electro-gun wielding idiots.

Further controversy erupted this afternoon, as the MSM sites AnimeNewsNetwork and AnimeNation have been accused by Truth In Media of being willing mouthpieces for the terrorist organization Al-Figurine in Tokyo. Shamus has issued a statement denying any connection between his recent DM of the Rings feature and the dispute over ‘plastic girls in 1/8 scale’. “I just do this for fun. No political statements about the desirability of imaginary, role-played women over plastic girls is intended.”

A spokeswoman for Dr. Ruth pointed out the obvious parallels between guys roleplaying as women in games, the infamous ‘trap’ (some say double-trap) Mizuoho of Otome wa Boku, and recent demands of the terrorist splinter group Mizuho’s Fanboys for more “star exposure.” When asked what this had to do with plastic figurines of naked nurses, the spokeswoman questioned the sexuality of this reporter and suggested using a mousepad equipped with boobies (both links NSFW). Further questions were refused.

Meanwhile, pundits have suggested that Ubu Roi “check his meds.”