Crescent Moonie Love

Well, for some reason, Nara Animation Studio decided that there hadn’t been enough bad harem animés made lately, so they decided to toss this one into the pile. How bad? Well, for starters, it’s horribly full of clichés. All of them (except one). So full, that if it isn’t a parody, it ought to be one. Well, I’ll let the show speak for itself…

Some voice A: Hey, it’s the moon! Cool ain’t it? Let’s go live there!

Some voice B: Yeah, and we’ll build Disneyworld!

Some voice A: What Disney, that’s the royal palace, you idiot! Besides, that castle is at DisneyLAND, isn’t it?

Some Voice B: Wait, we’re a monarchy? Whatever. Ok, fine, we’ll just call our nation Disneyworld. Get it? Disney. Moon. World? Disneyworld? Hahaha!

A: Ugh, that’s so stupid, it hurts. You can’t do that anyway, moron, it’s copyrighted and trademarked! Call yourself the Nation of…..Orb.

B: Hell no, that’s been done already! Uhhhhhhh….how about Sphere!

A: Oh, come on, if you’re going to be a copycat, just say Orb!

B: Sphere!

A: Orb!

B: Sphere!

A: Orb!

B:This means WAR!!!!

A: Fine then! Let’s have a war over it!

B: Yes, lets! It beats having a war for a properly explained reason, after all! And we can use really stupid looking asymetrical spaceships! Um, but why did we give the war a suggestive Greek name?

A: Beats me. Because it was suggestive? Ok, enough war. Lots of people have died now, and we’re not going to bother referencing this for the rest of the episode anyway, so forget about it and we’ll just have a cold peace instead. Naturally, the Moon’s only embassy and UN landing port is in Japan, in the city of Youarehere.
B:Well of course. So….. if this is a harem comedy, shouldn’t we be checking out a typical modern Japanese schoolroom about now?
A: More like five minutes ago, if you ask me. Well, here, this looks a lot like a modern schoolroom doesn’t it?

B: Really? Where’s the computers? Look, it’s a senior class, and the teacher is making the students stand and read right out of the book! And I don’t see a single cell phone.

A: OMG! The Japanese were so desperate after the war, they let Americans run the school system! Check this out– she’s sleeping through class!!!

B: Yeah, and I think the football coach is teaching class. Is that a play diagram behind them? Oh, this is stupid. The future sucks! I’m outta here.

A: Ditto. Let the characters handle this — they’re the ones being paid to talk anyway. They even get names, unlike us!

B: I blame the lazy-ass blogger for that, myself.

Tatsuya: What, you mean I have to do this now? Well, ok, fine, I’m the required male at the center of the idiocy that’s about to begin. I rank somewhere between a nebbish and a nerd. And this is Natsuki, my childhood friend and classmate. She can’t stay awake during Lunar History, but I love it. We work together a resturant that’s right next to my house.

Mai: Hi, I’m Tatsuya’s little sister, and I’ll help out! It’s my job to make sure you get your daily requirement of “Oniiiiiiiiiiiii-chan!” during every episode!
Mai: Onii-chan is baka. He pinches girls on the nose to show he likes them. Doesn’t he know spitballs to the back of the head are traditional? Oh wait, that’s junior high. Never mind!
Mai: This is Tohyama, my senpai. I think she wants to do the “nose-pinch boogie” with onii-chan.
Mai: She wants to do it reeeeeeeely bad. So bad, I feel a ZZ Top song coming on!
Tatsuya: Ah, sorry, I’m oblivious. Anyway, Mom’s on the news again. She’s the President’s Primary Secretary. Boy she looks like she wants to spill the beans about something…. but it won’t be about supper since she left me a note not to fix any and just head to work. Of course, even though she’s my mother, she looks like a MYLF. (That’s MYLF, not MILF, or else we’d have another of those Oedipus War things, and this show’s not ecchi enough.)
Jin: Hey everyone! I’m Natsuki’s big bro, and since Tatsuya is such a nebbish, I have to be the necessary perv. I do things like ask what he was just whispering to my sister. Not because I’m protective of her, hey. I just want to know. I probably need the hint for a hentai dating sim or something. Anyway, we all work for Pops here.
Tatsuya: Well, Pops let me off early tonight for some reason, so I guess I’ll head home.

Mia: Hi, I’m a meido. I’m not your meido, but I’m just greeting you at the door in order to confuse the holy crap out of you, and so you’ll think I’m the one doing the homestay.

Tatsuya: Homestay? What homestay?

Mia: The princess’s, of course.

Tatsuya: P-P-P-P-Pr-P-P!!! *BZZZZT*
Feena: Hi! I’m a genuine moon princess, and I’ll be staying at your place and going to school with you! And if the OP has anything to say about it, I’m going to be your major heartthrob.
Feena: Especially since I’m the only female on this planet with boobs, aside from your mom. And mine are bigger than hers. MUCH bigger.

Mai: I think we just figured out why it was called the Oedipus War.

Feena: And I’ve studied all about Earth customs, and how you don’t wear shoes indoors, so I’ll just forget that I’m not wearing my heels now and should pick up my dress a bit more. Of course if you were a bit more ecchi, Tatsuya — or even a gentleman — you’d be trying to catch me right now and end up getting a couple of handfulls, you know. Or maybe a faceplant?Oh well. This way I get to show off my power to turn everyone into chibis.
Tatsuya: Well, ok, but since I missed the faceplant, I’ll be mezmerized by your boobs charms and spark an interplanetary incident by pinching your nose.
Everyone else: AAAAAAAAAAHHHH! SHE’LL HAVE US EXECUTED! WE’RE SORRY! WE’RE SORRY! WE’RE SORRY! HE’S AN IDIOT!! APOLOGIZE, BAKA!!!

Feena: Oh, don’t be silly! I won’t execute you for his showing he likes me. I’ll just mumble something to myself so the audience knows that I remember him from my last trip to Earth, even if he doesn’t seem to remember me. There was probably some stupid promise to marry involved somewhere, you know how it works.

Mom: Oh well, in that case, let’s go next door to eat before your meido’s stomach triggers seismic monitors across Japan. Oh, and excuse us while we move you out of the way of flying onii-chans. Looks like Jin insulted his sister’s cooking again.

Pops: That’s coming out of your pay Jin!

Jin: Well, hello there! Since Tatsuya didn’t cause an interplanetary incident, I think I will by mentioning something gauche and embarassing to both him and my little sister. Not to mention clue you in to who your competition is. (I mean, she’s not that well-endowed, but she was best in class until you showed up.)
Natsuya: Shut up Onii-chan!

Jin: Mrph! By the way, she’s violent. Just in case the glass in my hair didn’t warn you.

Everyone: Ack! who let the papparazzi in here? And how the hell did he hide under your skirt? And what was he muttering about white lace?

Feena: Sorry everyone. This is my famous-but-really-weird offical photographer. I feel he’s destined to record embarassing moments involving Tatsuya and I very soon. But he’s friends with Grandma, and fairly harmless. He’s annoying, but harmless. Really; harmless.

Takano-sensei: Right! And I’m world famous, even though I haven’t figured out that digitial is the future of photography! Oh, and I’ve got an equally weird assistant too. We can hide anywhere! Muahahahah! Nice food, by the way.

Feena: Really;, annoying. By the way, did I mention that Tatsuya isn’t the only one with a pinching fetish around here?

Takano-sensei: OW!

Jin: So, Takano-Sensei…. what was that you were saying about white lace?

Natsuki: BATTER UP!

Window: *Smash!*

Takano: Wow. Ok, her, I don’t think I’ll take pictures of.

Pops: I’m not stupid enough to dock the one knocking you through the window. That’s two out of your pay Jin!

Feena: You called me by my first name a moment ago. Please keep doing that. It makes it much easier to become the chosen babe.

Mystery Loli: Don’t mind me. I’m just floating around out here, doing a little foreshadowing. Stupid writers forgot to put a meganekko in this show, so now I’m going to have to carry the entire fetish load for all the otaku by myself. Not like there’s any hawt fanservice in this show, and not even any twincest so far, either. Best shot was Feena’s white lacy stockings and you had to catch them in slo-mo.

Feh.

So, there you have it. Terribly un-original so far. If this is a parody, I’m still waiting on ‘teh funny’ to show up, but I’m not ruling it out.

(note:I’m adding the rest of the links to full size pics tomorrow. It’s late and I’m tired of fighting WP’s wysiwyg interface. Ok, I think I have it mostly fixed and edited the humor a bit to improve it. I hope.)

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9 Responses to Crescent Moonie Love

  1. Sounds like the “Gravion” of harem shows. And therefore the next episode will be about bathhouses.

    [Oops: onee means "big sister; onii means "big brother". onee is pronounced "oh-nay"; onii is pronounced "oh-nee".]

  2. Dr.Heinous says:

    ‘Sorry about the barfed up formatting’

    Hey, your formatting is barfed up!

  3. Ubu Roi says:

    Re: Onee/Onii: Wouldn’t you know it, I spelled it right at first and then went back and changed it because the phonetics were off. For ENGLISH that is. Eh, another thing to fix tonight.  And I can’t call it the Gravion of harem shows yet.  I’m HOPING that’s what it is, but so far it’s just a completely cliché harem show with pretty tame fanservice.  The farcical tone above is purely my invention; so far the show is playing it straight.

  4. Pixy Misa says:

    I had no idea what you were talking about the first time through. Now I’ve downloaded it, so I can share your pain. ;)

  5. Ubu Roi says:

    Heh. I guess I’m funnier than the show then. Not that it was difficult.

  6. Wonderduck says:

    Is it bad of me to admit that I LIKED the first episode… a lot?

  7. Ubu Roi says:

    Er, under the rule that “everyone’s taste is their own” I have to say no. Hey, it’s taken me two hours to explain why I like Kanon (even though it drives me nuts) and Busou Renkin, even though nothing’s exceptional about it.

  8. Pingback: Mahou Meido Meganekko » Blog Archive » Three Animé Series, One Confused Blogger

  9. Pingback: Mahou Meido Meganekko » Blog Archive » Ubu Roi’s Worst of 2006

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