Now you know how they always try to front-load the fanservice to get the fans interested? Well, I just watched a raw of Queen’s Blade, figuring it would have lots of jiggle. T & A is always good, right?
I got more than I bargained for. WAY more…. below the fold and VERY NSFW.
Ok, bearing in mind that I’m working with no knowledge of Japanese, Blondie here seems to be our dark horse/destined winner who has to be killed because she’ll win the Queen’s Blade tournament somehow. It’s a bit of a stretch right now, because she’s being bitch-slapped by some sort of female-looking pink-haired construct that I’ll call Pinkie (for her hair color). Pinkie’s major attack is… I won’t describe it just yet. Blue-haired chick with the cream jug is flying overhead watching; nobody notices her.
So Blondie loses badly (complete with pissing her very visible panties), and is about to be strangled, when a busty redheaded thief chick (Red, seen below) jumps in. She’s been stalking Blondie, but decides to save her by driving off Pinkie. However, after a bit of talk, it seems that Red thinks of Blondie here as her property now. Oh, and Red doesn’t have so much as a cloak to loan her for modesty. So tie’r up and lets go!
Arriving at Blondie’s home (a nice castle by the lake), and Little sis’ takes exception to how her onee-chan is being treated.
Then it turns out Blondie is actually Middle Sister. Big Sister shows up. We know she’s bad, because we can’t see above her waist. Blue-haired chick with the cream jug is flying overhead watching; nobody notices her.
Big Sis takes an even bigger exception.
Short story, Big Sis tosses Red into the dungeon, slaps around Blondie and I assume tells her to quit thinking like she can play in the big leagues. Shots of Red lying low in the dungeon. Cut to Blondie getting undressed for bed, more gratuitous nudity. Shots of Pinkie infiltrating for another attack.
Red breaks out, starts to steal the castle treasury, but instead grabs a suit of silver armor. The alarm goes up; Red sneaks into Blondies room and gives her the armor. They talk. Big and Little sis both show up, Blondie hides Red. Little Sis figures it out, but doesn’t let on. Red leaves the armor and starts to make her escape. Big Sis finds her and a battle starts with too much talk and too little T&A.
Pinkie attacks Blondie, and shit starts blowing up. You see, Pinkie’s attack is really unique. Her hair is prehensile and, uh, hand shaped. And you see, um.
Let me just show you.
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I kid you not, Pinkie’s attack is her breast milk, as uh, fired by the prehensile hair.
Pick your flavor: Clothes-Dissolving Chocolate, or Explosive Cherry. (If you think that sounds risque’, try it the other way around…)
Blondie finally manages to defeat Pinkie by the expedient of tripping her up and then closing to the point where she can jam her armored chest against Pinkie’s, thereby preventing her from firing. Pinkie’s breasts swell to an impossible size (think “room-sized) and then explode, killing her and blowing Blondie clear but unharmed.
Next morning, Blondie wakes up on the far shore of the lake. Red’s there. They talk a bit and take off together.
Blue-haired chick with the cream jug is flying overhead watching; nobody notices her…..
This doesn’t leave a lot for the DVDs, does it?
Thanks for going where not many men go so that we don’t have to.
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The blonde’s name is Reina, who had the first book, designed by Hirokazu Hisayuki, creator of the characters for Mai-Hime and My-Otome,: http://www.jlist.com/PRODUCT/PHS660
The bunny girl is Mellona. She’s actually a shape-shifting slime with a sadistic personality and an obsession with cuteness, which is why she turns into a bunny girl assassin instead of a fire-breathing dragon: http://www.jlist.com/PRODUCT/PHS637
Her younger sister is Erina, who’s vicious unlike Reina and has a siscon: http://www.jlist.com/PRODUCT/PHS662
The bandit is called Wasteland Picaroon Risty: http://www.jlist.com/PRODUCT/PHS668
The one who threw her in the dungeon is Claudette, the Lightning General (probably not Reina’s sister): http://www.jlist.com/PRODUCT/PHS638
The blue haired chick is Nanael, an angel. In the books, she’s supposed to participate in the tourney without spilling a single drop of the “holy milk” she carries. Her defeat pictures have it spilled all over her, probably because her designer is the same one who did the hentai game Makai Tenshi Jibril: http://www.jlist.com/PRODUCT/PHS669
The blonde’s name is Reina, who had the first book, designed by Hirokazu Hisayuki, creator of the characters for Mai-Hime and My-Otome。You can see the books for the personae in this episode here: http://www.jlist.com/SEARCH/queen%27s_blade。
The bunny girl is Mellona. She’s actually a shape-shifting slime with a sadistic personality and an obsession with cuteness, which is why she turns into a bunny girl assassin instead of a fire-breathing dragon
Her younger sister is Erina, who’s vicious unlike Reina and has a siscon。
The bandit is called Wasteland Picaroon Risty。
The one who threw her in the dungeon is Claudette, the Lightning General (She’s probably not Reina’s and Erina’s sister)。
The blue haired chick is Nanael, an angel. In the books, she’s supposed to participate in the tourney without spilling a single drop of the “holy milk” she carries. Her defeat pictures have it spilled all over her, probably because her designer is the same one who did the hentai game Makai Tenshi Jibril。She’s scheming to take over a country, exile all the women, and make the men her willing servants.
Yeah, I read up on everyone’s identity on Wikipedia afterwards. Amazing how there’s more (and more accurate) information on anime than there is on, say, Conservatism as a political movement.
Anyway, I have to follow this show. Seriously, I finally have something to compare to Dokuro-chan, but it’s got better boobies.
Sorry about the second post; I thought the first one had been rejected. If it helps, the ED indicates that Airi, the ghost maid (http://www.jlist.com/PRODUCT/PHS671) will show up eventually. This episode has already been subtitled if anyone’s interested.
I picked up the subtitled ep. and watched it; thereby catching some of the subtleties I missed. As if anything in this show could be called subtle!
Your message was caught by Akismet, due to all the links. I freed it from durance vile, so here it is.