That’s Not Animé

Dear Glenn:

As a semi-otaku* I would just like to say, That is animation, not anime. It’s also old-fashioned government censorship for the 21st century. Never forget, our companies pioneered and sold China the technology to do that.

Yet another reason I don’t trust the big information businesses; if they’ll sell out their corporate motto and a billion Chinese for profits, imagine what they’ll do for our own country — who can, after all, reach their directors personally, or pass laws to (over-) regulate their businesses.

Oh wait, someone already did roll over on us — now they want laws to cover them.

But again, not all animation is animé. Certainly, cartoon Keystone Cops are not.
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*I don’t believe you cross over into the dark side until you own at least one figurine. I mean, a guy collecting dolls? Very dark side.

Posted in Bitching, Technology | 2 Comments

Massive Fun With Acronyms (MFWA)

Sometimes, surfing the web, you can come across the craziest things….

I was browsing through SAP products the other day (I work for them, as you may recall) when I stumbled across two of the funniest SAPanese acronyms ever. First, I found the SAP Business One Turbo Command Hub, B1TCH for short. I guess the alternative was BOTCH, but that doesn’t make the conscious decision to sell a product known as B1tch any less hilarious to me.

The other acronym I found was the Object Management Group, or OMG. While that alone isn’t much, what I find great is the use of their acronym in other things. For example, on the top navigation of OMG.org, you can see “OMG Programs”. Below that, you can find “Search OMG Documents” and “Adrian Bowles PhD, Program Director, Regulatory Compliance, OMG.”

Now as it happens, I think that anyone who buys SAP is one, but it’s nice to see that their bad selection of acronyms doesn’t end there. Somehow, I can just see some admin yelling at his hardware, “Who’s my B1TCH!! Who’s my B1TCH!! Say it!”

I can only hope that one day, the Object Management Group gets a Widget Transfer Feature with Broad Band Quality.

Posted in Random Nonsense | 4 Comments

Paging Mr. Rand, Paging Mr. McNally

So I watched the first episode of Prism Ark, which at least takes a stab at serving up epic plot and epic fanservice, although it succeeds best with epic confusion, what with the first episode jumping erratically among 3 different timeframes. Sort of like one of my run-on sentences, which just take these odd twists and turns, much like rides at Astroworld.

Wait, there is no more Astroworld.

So while I was trying to follow the chopped-up plot and enjoy fanservice that kept disappearing as fast as it appeared, thanks to equally-choppy animation, this little tidbit got thrown onto the screen. Prism Ark takes place in a slightly different version of Europe. Either the land masses are somewhat different, or they have the worst mapmaker in the world working in the royal courts of the Wind Lands. I’m thinking the latter. There are two really bizarre errors in the map; not “the geography is slightly different,” not “names are misspelled,” but two really peculiar items that stand out compared to the rest. Can you spot them? (Click for a larger map).

Actually, I think I just spotted two more, although arguably those might fall into the “different geography” category. They’re not quite as odd as the first two, IMHO.

I could be nice and post the answers below the fold or in spoilers, but everyone will simply wimp out and click to see the answer. So you’re just going to have to wait until tomorrow. Nyah.

(Or you could try spotting them yourself. Please, if you post the answer, use the spoiler /spoiler tags, with angle brackets.)

Posted in Random Nonsense | 9 Comments

Urge to Kill, Rising…

Argh. Ok just finished GSNK #6. Forget it. No plot, just more of the same idiocy. One possible explanation had occurred to me, but I wanted to believe anything else. Sadly, I should have run with it.

Spoiler: Yes, it was all Ryoko behind the scenes, working with some of Reika’s family retainers. The part I don’t get is that just about everyone in the show seems to be unusual.

I feel like an idiot for ever letting myself believe that this show might redeem itself. I should be forced to stand on a mound of discarded Ikkitousen DVD’s, so small children can point at me and laugh. “Hey, he thought that show had a plot! Doody-head!”

Yes, I’m a little peeved at being taken in, but this is just piss-poor craftsmanship. Spoilers below the fold to say why, and I can’t put all of them in tags.

Continue reading

Posted in Random Nonsense | 17 Comments

Blah.

I have to admit, animé just isn’t doing it for me right now. I look at all the crap on fansub and go, “ewwwww!”

Hayate lost me because it has no intention of going anywhere soon (it’s a 50 episode series now on #32, get back to me around #48, k?) Dragonuts was just dreck, Rent-a-Mage was uninspiring (wait, you mean the other harmette was a ghost?), Night Whizzing comes across like the first effort of a twenty-something, and the never-to-be-mentioned-again (until I decide to rant about it some more) Sha-na-na II turned out to be to Tomogara ass-kicking what Princess Nine was to baseball.

I think Kugimiya Rie had another awful loli-on-a-rampage series this season, didn’t she? Zero something something? I forget.

It’s pretty sad when the series that I think are interesting are a mindless illogical jigglefest that might have a really badly executed plot hidden it it, and a show about bacteria. It may also explain why my rogue in WOW is now level 43.

/Looks at incomplete articles: Shakugan no Shana Movie, Angst in Animé, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, Coyote Ragtime Show…

I need to start getting together my list of “Top Ten Worst Animé for 2007.” I may have to do two honorable mentions, at this rate.

Posted in Bitching, Fansubs | 25 Comments

Webcomics — Megatokyo

Like everyone with a favorite comic, I’ve often wondered what it would be like if it were turned into an animé. I long ago decided that Sluggy Freelance would be like Inuyasha: 180+ episodes of a great idea going nowhere. But the one that would be made of win and awesome (do I overuse that phrase or what?), were it ever animated, would be MegaTokyo.

While he started slowly, Fred actually has a long-term story arc, and some amazing secondary characters that could be main characters in their own strip. Fans debate endlessly over Miho: good, evil, or just misunderstood? A recent fan fave is the plucky jr. high girl, Yuki, about whom questions started to be raised some time back. Now she’s found out only in the last day that she’s a bona-fide magical girl… and so was her mother. Then there’s the heated discussions over whether Piro, the uncertain, shy otaku, is doing the right thing or the wrong thing in trying to protect his new girlfriend, Kimiko, a debuting seiyuu in a game-to-animé adaptation.

Fred is having a ball using or subverting all the anime tropes: harems, SEP fields, android girls (built by Sony), meido, online gaming, government conspiracies (that aren’t so secret), giant monsters (who get drunk before rampaging), magical girls (who retire and have kids)…about the only animé trope not to show up so far is combat mechs.

Oops, I take that back.

There appear to be at least four overlapping realities and one alternate dimension at work, and not everyone can “see” all of them. A powerful SEP (Somebody Else’s Problem) field protects those not able to handle the weirdness–even if someone not of that reality notices something odd, they quickly forget it or explain it away. For instance, Ping, an android girl, is a prototype PS2 “Emotional Doll System” accessory. Even though such a realistic android girl is utterly science-fictional, everyone accepts her as a robotic game accessory — if they’re told that’s what she is. Otherwise they think she’s a normal girl, prone to padding her bra, wearing weird earrings, and dying her hair pink.

Note that I call these “realities” for lack of a better term. I’m a believer in the “one world” theory; different people can see only certain parts of it, because that’s all that they can handle. If they meet incontrovertible evidence of a reality they can’t handle, they forget about it, as Kimiko has forgotten about Miho moving her out of the cafe riot with a super-leap.

Specific reality views I have identified:

Normal: Almost everyone functions in this reality. Somehow, they completely fail to notice zombie invasions, giant rampaging monsters, magical girls, and so on. They’ll climb right over wrecked tanks without noticing. People think Ping is a normal girl. Otaku watch animé, organize obsessive fan groups online, and, in general, think it’s all fiction.

Magical/Animé: Animé characters like magical girls really exist. Giant monsters really exist. Android girls really exist. Aliens and zombies really exist, and invade from other dimensions/outer space. However, not all of the things above exist for all people able to perceive this world. There appear to be up to three separate levels. In the lowest, the police have neat mechs and Ping is a highly advanced PS2 game accessory. In the second, zombies, vampires, giant turtles, ninja organizations, magical girls and other monsters exist. Piro can see only the first; Largo can see both. Kimiko and Erika can see the first. Miho, Meimi, and Yuki are all in the second. There is no evidence thus far that any layer can see the Moral worlds. (Update 2010: Erika can see and converse with Boo, the hamster conscience. They even trade career notes.) People in the lowest layer appear to also see the Illuminatus world, and any distinction between the two may be an artifact of my classification system.

Moral: Right and wrong exist, and physical consciences, protected by the SEP, appear to advise people. “Evil” consciences urge them to follow base desires or give in to anger and temptation. Good consciences try to steer people clear of trouble. Both answer to some sort of bureaucracy (although Evil’s is less in evidence and Good’s is in a budget crunch); each also uses intelligent animals as temps and assistants. Interestingly, the embodiments are free agents, can switch sides, and even appear to have their own families. Consciences’ perceptions are limited to those of their “host,” thus Boo is able to see all sorts of things that Seraphim cannot. Of course, he can’t communicate it very effectively.

Illumanatus: This is the layer of the government and its minions. They control the media, including popular entertainment icons, due to the damage that such can do if they run amuck. They even have a program similar to the Witness Protection Program for retired ex-idols. The police operates a special unit (Tokyo Police Cataclysm Division) that schedules and watches over large-scale events, such as monster rampages, alien invasions, and fanboy riots, etc. They have construction groups that can replace entire buildings within minutes. Basically, their goal is the orderly supervision of a chaotic world. Large corporations, such as Sony and Sega, hire violent agents to “acquire” or “neutralize” certain properties for them, such as renegade PS2 accessories and popular seiyuu.

The story has been building towards a climax for sometime now, as the “Dinner of Doom” and Zombie Invasion happen just as Kimiko’s fledgling career reaches a crossroads, and the minions of Sony and Sega battle for advantage in the middle of an incipient fanboy riot. Meanwhile, one obsessed gaijin is leading a horde of confused fanboys (who see him as their game avatar) to help his girlfriend (their idol), while his lunatic friend and a magical girl steal a ‘Rent-a-zilla’ and head for the invasion.. Every time I think the artist, Fred Gallagher, has come up with the ultimate “Yuki’s kawaiiiiii!”, “Miho’s kowaii and kawaiii!”, or “Largo’s crazy!” strip, he out-does himself.

There are a couple of minor, well, criticisms. Sometimes, the omake’s Fred throws in to try a new technique or (because he’s gotten blocked on the main story) are annoying, because they delay the main strip. Fortunately, if you’re reading the archives, it’s a minimal disruption, and they’re always good reads in and of themselves. There was also a period in the middle (around chapter 4) where he gets sidetracked onto a story involving the consciences. And Fred’s incessant whining about how bad his art is, and constant promises (and failures) to keep to a 3-per-week schedule do get tiresome. (2010 Update: he’s fallen as far as once per month, however it’s because his wife has been increasingly ill, and has been diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.) Still, MT long ago took over as my favorite webcomic… and whenever I get tired of Fred’s humor, I can just dive into the forums and read the hundreds of “rescripts” where fans take the artwork, and run with hilarious new dialog. Baka_Bomb and Zahooie are the two masters of that genre; if you see their names beside a post, be sure not to have any drink in your mouth. I will not be responsible for any new monitors or keyboards, and neither will they.

So, if you like webcomics, give this one a spin. It starts out slow, taking well over 100 strips to set up the initial situation and introduce characters, but it’s worth the wait. I’m not sure how much of Tokyo will be left when Fred’s done, but it’s one terrific ride, so far!

Update 11/7/07: As of today, “what will be left” does not include City Hall. I want to know who do those johnny-come-lately Zombies think they are? Ten-year waiting permit my ass, I’ve been waiting eighteen, and we don’t even HAVE a permit process!

Update 10/11/10: Three years later I wondered why the TVTropes was one of my top referrers, and so I find that someone linked to this article. I’ve gone back and fixed up a few typos (every time I update the WP install, it changes how the é displays). Since I first wrote this article, a lot of things have changed — the hilarious Dinner of Doom was superseded by the wild Club of Catastrophe — and now we’re mired in a soap opera (not in a bad way), as Piro and Miho confront their past — and Miho confronts her present. On the forums, Baka-Bomb and Zahooie have moved on from making side-splitting rescripts.

And here, I’m still waiting for permission to demolish City Hall.

Posted in Webcomics | Tagged | 9 Comments

Reika, What????

Holy double twist, Batman! Goshushou-sama Ninomiya-kun may be trying to develop a plot!

Well, my money’s really on this being a weird head-fake, and the leader of the military group is going to be the Yuki-clone, who will no doubt end up transferring into the same school, “Whacky hijinks ensue,” and all that; but they did get around to all-but-confirming at least one of my growing suspicions this episode….

Spoiler: It’s not Mayu we’re seeing in the flashbacks, it’s Reika! That’s why they shade everything orange, so we can’t tell the hair color. So, of course she’s got MPD, and just to top it off, her alternate personality may be a succubus also? What? What? WTFOMG? (I think not, Shungo jumped to a conclusion). At the very least, her alternate personality is definitely un-conflicted about what she wants and what she’ll do to get it.

But who the hell’s in the submarine and out to take them prisoner? Wait, was there actually a story behind a military helicopter dropping Mayu off at school? Is Ryoko behind this, and is there actually something to the scene in the first episode where she was fighting in a battle?

I really am not expecting much, but the show just got at least five times more interesting….

Posted in Episode Reviews, Fansubs, Snap Reviews | 6 Comments