I had a really, really silly thought this morning.
Why doesn’t someone do a Lord of the Rings parody…
…with the Loony Tunes characters?
“Starring:
Elmer Fudd as Aragorn,
Daffy Duck as Legolas,
Bugs Bunny as Gandalf,
Wile E. Coyote as Boromir,
Yosemite Sam as Gimli,
Spike the Bulldog as Peregrin Took,
Chester the Terrier as Meriodoc Brandybuck,
Porky Pig as Sam Gamgee,
Speedy Gonzalaz as Elrond,
Tweety Bird as Eowyn,
Sylvester as Grima Wormtounge,
Granny as Galadrial,
Tasmanian Devil as the Balrog
Blacque Jacque Shellacque as Denethor,
Foghorn Leghorn as Saruman
Henry Hawk as Faramir
Marvin the Martian as the Chief Nazgul,
Michigan J. Frog as King Theoden,
Pepe Le Pew as Gollum, and
Road Runner as Frodo Baggins!”
I mean, seriously, if the Coyote is going to be Boromir, who else could be Frodo? (well, actually originally I was thinking Daffy Duck…could you imagine anyone more irresponsible to give the One Ring to?)
Then there’s Michigan J. Frog as Theoden:
MJF: “Hello my Dolly,
Hello, my Darling,
Hello, my Ragtime gal!”
First Guardsman: “ARGH. He’s singing again!”
Second Guard: “Forget this, I’d rather go fight that horde of orcs over there.”
Porky Pig: “G-G-Get away, from him, you b-bad sp-, sp-, sp-, SP-, arachnid!”
Elmer Fudd atop Weathertop: “Shhhh! Be vewy, vewy quiet. We’re hunting wingwaiths!”
Bugs, falling into the abyss with TD: “of course you wealize, dis means warrrrrrrrrrrr…”
Marvin the Martian: “Of course you realize that no human can defeat me as long as I have my Illudium Q-36 Space Detonator!”
Tweety Bird: “But Mr. Nazgul, I’m a boird.” Whack! “Wit a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG sword!”
Yosemite Sam: “NOBODY tosses a cowboy!”
And then there’s the endless possibilities inherent in Boromir trying out various ACME traps on the Road Runner to get the ring.
Note: Originally, I was thinking Daffy Duck should be Frodo, but changed it to enable the Coyote-RR dynamic. But Daffy and Bugs play off each other quite well also:
Bugs and Daffy (as Frodo) arguing over who takes the ring to Speedy:
Daffy: “You take it!”
Bugs: “No, no! I can’t, YOU take it!”
Daffy: “No, You take it!”
Bugs: “You take it!”
Daffy: “You take it!”
Bugs: “You take it!”
Daffy: “You take it!”
Bugs: “I take it!”
Daffy: “No, I take it.”
Bugs: “No, I take it!”
Daffy: “I’M taking it!”
Bugs: “No, I said I’m taking it!
Daffy: “I thaid I’M TAKING IT AND THATH FINAL!!”
Bugs: “Well, ok, if youse insists den!”
Daffy: “That’s right! I’m taking the Ring to Bree, and don’t you forget it, buster!”
Bugs (to audience): “Henh. Ain’t I a stinker?”
I swear, they just write themselves…
Bah. Come back when you’ve plotted out the modern urban hip-hop epic, “Lord of the Bling.”
I just can’t figure out where to put that “left turn at Alba-coirky.” Classic bit. Maybe when he gets lost in Moria?
Edit: and the more I think of it, the more I think I got Chester and Spike reversed. Chester is a bit of a spaz, so he should be Pippin.
Hm. Definitely completely lost it. Yup.
The problem is, the Loony Tunes characters don’t have enough women in them. I’ve got nobody left to play Arwen, unless it’s Penelope Pussycat. The problem with that is, if we follow the usual Looneytunes schtick, at some point Gollum is going to become somewhat less stinky, resulting in Arwen chasing him amorously.
The mind boggles. Even mine. (I assure you, it’s around here someplace, despite Dr. Heinous’ crass libels!)
Babs Bunny? (Now he’s got me doing it.)
Insanity is contagious.
Edit: hey, what’s up at Chizumatic? It looks like the first two pages are blank. The first post I can find is the one about Ed Driscoll discussing The One.
It looks fine to me. Check it again.
Yeah, it was ok when I looked again this morning. Just a temp glitch I guess.
It looks like something bogus is going on. As I’ve been visiting my own site today, about a third of the time it loads correctly, about a third of the time it loads without any CSS, and about a third of the time I get a fatal CherryPY error. I think something bad has happened to the server, but since Pixy is asleep right now we’re going to have to live with it.