Ecchi-tousen

I just watched the first DVD of Ikkitousen last night.

O. M. F. G.

I’m not sure where I read it, but somewhere I saw a comment that “Ikkitousen sounds like an excuse for girls to lose their clothes repeatedly while fighting.”

Uh, no. Try “lose their clothes repeatedly — and engage in sexually suggestive poses, acts, and talk — while fighting.” Plot? What plot? Just openly steal from history, throw logic (and its relative, reason) out the window, stick panty shots in the opening, and get it on. In more than one sense of the phrase. Well, it’s not an actual hentai title, but it isn’t missing by much. I’ll include the screenshots, but you bet your bippy they’re NSFW.

I mean, to start with, this is what greeted me after I opened the first case and popped out the DVD. Yeah, the Not Safe For Work cover’s reversible:

“No, no, really! I didn’t buy animé porn!” (looks at the rating: Mature: 16+) “Um, well, maybe I did.” I say again: NSFW.

Yeah, the “c’mere and bang me” girl on the right is Hakufu Sonsaku, and is apparently Excel Excel’s better-stacked cousin. She’s that ditzy. But since she burns off the excess energy beating the crap out of people just for the fun of fighting, she talks a bit slower. She apparently has no body modesty at all, one of two traits she shares with every other female in the show. The other, is of course, “booby bombs” as they’re constantly referred to.

She’s got a rival, Shimei Ryomou (the “leave me alone” girl on the left, above). She normally wears an eyepatch, although her eye works just fine. You won’t see the eyepatch from this NSFW angle:

At this point, Sonsaku has just ripped the eypatch off, which really gets Ryomou worked up, enough to unleash the NSFW thighs of doom.

This kind of makes what happens next seem… ambiguous. Maybe not NSFW.

That’s as tame as it gets…. I mean, next second, Ryomou crows that she’s cut off the blood supply and all of Sonsaku’s muscles are relaxing….In a very NSFW way.

Ummm….

Oh, I’m sorry, did I forget to mention that is is also apparently a school for NSFW fetishists?.

But hey, there’s six more schools of fun out there, and they’re all fighting. Including this chick that forget her bra. And blouse. At least you can tell which school she attends. Nice thing, is, there’s no need to make a choice between going for the babe with the green hair, and the babe with the big breasts, when you’re dealing with Ryofu Housen. (At work? Taking your chances here…) Although it’s a bit of a downer that the last time we see her, she’s busy running her tongue down the bad-guy’s chest. Incidentally, her seiiyu has got another one of those “reaches below the waist” voices (where I’m concerned, anyway). I thought it sounded familiar, so I checked. Sure enough, she was the voice of Villetta in Code Geass, Tiamat in Shana, Lt. Yun in Divergence Eve, and Chachamaru in the original Negima!

I notice that I have yet to discuss much plot and backstory. Well, don’t worry, the writers haven’t either — other than to acknowledge that they’re completely stealing the Three Kingdoms period, right down to many names and character fates. Did I mention that the winner of all these fights among high-school kids will somehow be the country’s ruler? Yes, kids. I mentioned school, didn’t I? Not that you ever see the first teacher, or even a class being conducted through the first DVD. A few other well-worn tropes, characters, and plot devices get trotted out, including an oversexed MILF and secret powers.

Well, I think I’m going to give this one another day or two before I continue. I need the time to perform CPR on all those dead brain cells.