So I just finished catching up with Bakumatsu, and there was this reference to “the legendary suicide of the White Tiger Squad” in it. I figured it was one of those ‘ah, we lost, what a disgrace, let’s commit seppuku and make a mess on the carpet’ things. But in the process of using the Chinese Oppressor’s Search Portal to find some information, I ran across this piece of work: (Warning, some pictures NSFW)
After having recently watched the similar Kunoichi: Deadly Mirage which involved female ninja-ettes fighting on behalf of the Shinsengumi I knew what I was in for with this current film; a very tenuously grounded historical piece filled with ninja-ette bOObies. And I was not disappointed.
Well. You, the beloved viewer, will UNDOUBTEDLY be surprised at the manner and method in which these Ninja Powers will be released. Needless to say that EACH critical power will wholly rely upon various (ahem) unique characteristics of the SEVEN VIRGINS.
You will learn of secret, dark and deadly Ninja Magic (!!) such as the “Virgin Blood Sword” (which takes Yagyu and one ninja-ette less than two minutes to procure!). Or how about “Nipple Shock Power”! (GUYS! DON’T STARE INTO THE LIGHT!). And let’s not forget the dreaded “Uterine Cannon of Destruction” (as I call it) which can only be mastered by someone who, well, has a uterus.
By now you should be starting to grasp the sheer brilliance of this complex and exciting story.
The ‘Uterine Cannon of Destruction’… Ugh. Gee, and I thought Hollywood made tacky horror films!.
Oh, and I was right about the White Tiger Squad; the reviewer covered them in his historical notes. Weird that I had to read about Ninja bOObies to learn about Japanese history, but I suppose that’s just the way it goes, sometimes…
