Mahou Meido Meganekko

So, as readers may recall, I ordered two hentai games with my animé order last week, and it got in yesterday. I was pretty tired, but I figured, “what the hell,” and loaded up the bargain one: “Jewel Knights: Crusaders.” It installed just fine, and I started into the story. Pretty soon, I realized that yes, the auto-forward is a desirable feature. The story was just one click after another, as “I” talked about how I was king of the street fighters, the baddest baddass motherf-cker out there. I seem to be very impressed with myself. Very impressed. Probably five or six minutes of this, which I presume was to set the stage and explain to me who “I” was. The problem was, not only was I not liking me too much, but the picture I saw throughout all this (storefronts at night) never changed. And it was dull, not well done, and pretty uninteresting. Oh, and there’s NO sound or music. “Well, it’s a bargain game, I shoudln’t expect much.” So on I watch…

Yes, watch. I’m not making any choices. I haven’t met the girls for the first time yet; the blurb on the box says I meet them while looking for a street fight. I take it off auto-forward, but nothing changes. Click, click, click. I finally hear some sound, something breaking. Cue another minute of me gassing about how I can identify exactly what that sound is, because I’m so attuned to fights — I know it’s someone landing on a case of beer bottles and breaking them. How do I know this? Because I’m the baddest street fighter there is. I finally get around to checking up on the sound and meet the three Jewel Knights and the dominatrix they’re fighitng. Damn, they’re ugly. How do I mean that? As in “not attractive to men.” They’ve all got huge tits and nothing else going for them. Well, “I” end up getting knocked out in the ensuing fight, wake up in the hospital, and find the pink-haired one is now my nurse….

She’s dim, but sweet as hell. Gives me this bullshit story about her and the other girls are fighting against a 2,000 year old organization out to conquer the world. Yeah, right. Like some cartoon, or somethin’. I don’t believe a word of this shit, but hey, I’ll listen to a babe telling me stories any day. (Cue another 15 minutes of chit-chat, during which I meet the other two members of the team. They’re still not attractive. Especially the shy blond loli. The third member is, frankly, a smart-alec bitch.)

Someone needs to slap that blue-haired ho, and I’m just the guy to do it — as soon as I get out of this hospital bed. (Just as frankly, “I” deserve everything she’s giving me. I seem to be a complete and total reprobate as I describe hunting down and beating up some sixth-graders that had bullied me, putting them in the hosptial. I was a prodigy, then being only in the third grade. Anyway, after I beat them up, then I came to visit and steal their candy, presents, and meals. Yep, that’s me, all heart.) So hey, I’m like, all familiar with hospitals and such. Just not the view from my back, if you know what I mean.

So eventually, I’m all alone with the pink-haired babe again, who seems to be all worried about me. I think she likes me or somethin’. My neighbor chica shows up to check on me, the FINE one with purple hair (at last, an attractive female). I kid her about being my babe, but she disses me. S’ok, I’ll fix her when I get out too. But the pink-hair, she’s like, getting angry or something and starts making the evil eyes until my neighbor-girl leaves. Hey, damn, she’s like, jealous! She really does like me! Well, hey, an upstanding guy like me, I know exactly what kinda moves to put on a babelicous pink-haired sweetmeat like her!

(more…)

Well, my CardCaptor order came in today, along with the two games. However, thanks to the madhouse that is my job right now, I’m not up to starting any animé series… in fact I’m not really interested in going to the trouble of downloading anything I’ve been watching lately. I’m just going to take it easy tonight. Re-reading The Magic of Recluse, by L.E. Modesitt, Jr. Interesting storycrafting, in that it seemed to wander about going nowhere, but at the end I realized it had been headed to that finalé with a sense of purpose many authors fail to match. Curiously, that parallels the main character’s discovery of the principles of order and chaos — I rather suspect that was deliberate. Although I’m not sure I want to read much more of his writing if it’s always like that. I prefer a bit more action-oriented narrative, and while a lot happens to Lerris, it’s told in a very matter-of-fact, dry tone. Although, again, that matches the character and the story, so it was appropriate.

I guess it’s sort of like my reaction to Lain. Damn good story, very well told and I’d definitely recommend it if someone wanted to watch a good, thought-provoking animé. But it’s just not my speed. Except for the last two episodes, which I have watched three times now. Frankly, that mystifies me….There’s something about the wonder and joy of Lain overcoming her final trials, and accepting herself.

I got an amusing email from RightStuff about my order….

We are pleased to inform you that your order has shipped. Unless we contact you regarding a problem, you can count on your shipment leaving our warehouse within the next 2 business days.

I wonder how they would have reacted to me sending them an email upon order with the following: “I am pleased to inform you that I have paid for my order. Unless I contact you regarding a problem, I will mail a check within two days.” Somehow, I don’t think they would be amused.

Neither was I, actually, unless you count “cynically.” There’s a reason I prefer Robert, but he was out of the package deal on Cardcaptor Sakura.

So, having nothing better to do, I decided to click on the offer to watch the first episode of this series (coming out on DVD in R1 on 2/20). I wasn’t expecting much, but it might be interesting, and definately worth ordering the first DVD just for the animation and art. I wish I had some screenshots to show for this one because they seem to have blown the entire art budget on the first episode. It is set in France, during the reign of King Louis the XV, and a number of scenes are set at Versailles. The depection of the hallways and rooms look very authentic and the detailing of the fountain (not to mention the CG water effects) was just stunning. Most of the time, when I say “the art was good,” the reader should probably take it with a grain of salt; I’m still getting adjusted to the digital age of animé, and impress easily. This is definately an exception; when I say the art is impressive, I mean impressive. I don’t see how they could continue it for a 26 episode series, so I expect a quick drop in quality.

The streaming video is of the dub, of course, and the voice actors read their lines fairly well. The narrator is D’Eon as an older man, and that actor has done well, but the one playing the younger (bible-quoting and utterly loyal) D’Eon is trying for a youthful earnestness that sometimes falls a bit flat. Of course, despite their being French, the dub is in English, but the history of the language will be relevant to the first episode, and the translators have striven for a measure of authenticity; for instance, Louis is said as “Lewie” not “Lewis” as a native English-speaker would (or at least the American variant of it).

Plotwise, it appears to fall into the category of “Earnest & Loyal Retainer of King Investigates Evil Consipricy” category, with the usual “Politics and Corruption at High Levels”, “Avenges Family Member”, “Hero is Unwitting Pawn” and “Wheels Within Wheels” sub-variants in play. Heh. I feel like I’m naming plot cards from TORG. Hmmmmm….

D’Eon’s Player: “Oh cool, I got a Personal Stake card — and the Campaign card!”

GM: “Well your sister was killed by this unknown society, shortly after sending you a strange manuscript. Worse, they filled her body with mercury, to keep it from decaying. Because of that, the Holy Church refused to bury her, and her spirit is still wandering the world. You feel it about you from time to time, and she wants vengence.”

D’Eon’s Player: “Okaaaaaay, I play a Contact card. Where can I start the investigation?”

GM: “Well, it seems she was a member of the King’s Secret Police, a band of utterly loyal men (and women) who don’t believe in the Fifth Amendment–or the Fourth, either. They can arrest, use torture, and pretty much do as they wish. So your contact, an old friend, has accepted your application, and you became one of them a year ago.”

D’Eon’s Player: “Oh, cool, I drew another Contact card–I’ll put it in play too.”

GM: “Well, you’ve done a really good job on some minor investigations so far, and have come to the attention of both the King and the Queen, who regard you as competant and loyal. You’re not on speaking terms, but His Majesty has acknowledged your presence once or twice. You might be able to get an audience with the Queen if you found someone to intercede for you.”

Well, anyway, I’ve gotten sidetracked. I’m not going to do the whole episode like that; I’m not Shamus! (Heh, but I loved that game. Of all the RPG’s, I ever played, Torg was the most sheer fun to GM, and I had a couple of whacky roleplayers in Dr.Heinous and The Dread Pirate Pintito. Ah, the time DrHeinous thought it would be funny to ride the Orient Express with fake vampire teeth to scare people….only to discover that one of the baddest vampires in the world was actually on the train with them!)

Er, back to the story. Naturally of course, there’s some form of (classical) alchemy and supernatural elements involved. There are skulls that talk, zombified people, possiblely vampires–and as we see at the end of the episode, Lia D’Eon’s soul really is about…. and she’s in the mood to kick some zombie butt. Based on the first episode, I’d say it’s worth springing for the first DVD, at a minimum.

This note will stay up for the coming week. It’s just a quick heads up, in case you’re new here or haven’t been around in a while, and wonder what’s up with the new decor.

I lost.

Well, I dithered too long and missed Robert’s deal on Cardcaptor Sakura, so I ended up over at RightStuff (”Our motto: We ship when we want to!”), picking up theirs. Over $500 in anime for $80; well, the series would have to suck something grandly to make me regret that deal, and by all accounts, it doesn’t. So I’ll have plenty to watch for the next, oh, two months or so? That is, assuming I actually get it from them.

Watch me try to burn through all of it in three days. (Ain’t happening, not with that much material, but still…)

While I was on their site, I noticed the category, “Adult Games.” I’d gotten mildly curious about the subject, since Kanon came along — I’d actualy gone looking for a translated copy of it, and also for a copy of Otome wa Boku. (Purely to confirm Mizuho’s sex, I assure you! Inquiring minds want to know.) I figured that if the genre spawns that much animé, it can’t suck too badly. (Wait, I should reconsider that choice of words…)

I hadn’t checked out RightStuff’s list before, so I started looking at some of the descriptions of the games. It was obvious that their specials were mostly of the really bad stuff. Laughably and obviously so. Then I ran across Tokimeki Check-in, which wasn’t on special. I recognized the cover character from MT-i’s entry in last October’s De-motivational Poster contest over at TJ’s — she’s the entrant for Gentlemanliness, and I remember thinking “That’s…. not going to be an easy decision in the game, given the ‘provocation.’ And that outfit is one helluva provocation!”

Ok, ok, so I ordered it. “Porno for the people!” is the new cry of the revolution, and all that. I will probably have to set up one of the systems to dual boot, since it doesn’t say it will run under Win2k. Ah well. But then I really pushed my luck by looking at another of of the bargain games: Jewel Knights. The text made it look borderline bad, but maybe funny, until I got to this part:

Features a full “auto forwarding mode” mode as well for handsfree play.

Um. Well, there’s nothing like user-friendly features, after all….. Oh, look, and it is compatible with Win2k!

(Wait. I use the mouse left-handed anyway….)

Steven remarked (20070122.1945):

UPDATE: I don’t know what DVD Ubu Roi watched, but it isn’t the one I’m watching. After three episodes, I definitely see characters being built and groundwork being laid for a real story. It remains to be seen whether it’s a worthwhile story, but it sure isn’t lighthearted hijinks at high school so far.

Well, in my defense I don’t think I said “high school” but he may not be speaking literally anyway. Perhaps I’m being too harsh; the show wasn’t bad, but it was off-putting to me. What didn’t work on DVD 1 was the sudden switch from the intense combat and mystery of ep. 1 to several episodes of harem silliness. Yes, there’s chracter development going on, and quite a few serious moments, some hints being dropped, but the crazy scientist chick is just unbelievable (I can’t even buy it as an act!) and no one even considers calling in the government. “Hey, we’ve got a couple of alien girls here, you think someone should know we just made first contact?” (Words you don’t hear in that show.) And the pacing seems spastic. We have the slow build-up in episode 1 to a raucous fight sequence, and then…. we’re poking along leisurely for the rest of the DVD, with little or no tension. Just a typical week with a couple of hot-bodied teen alien girls hanging out with the guys….

If the best that can be said about the ending is that “it didn’t suck,” I have to question whether it’s worth buying the rest. OTOH, it’s not like it’s 7 DVDs or anything….I’ll have to watch it again before I decide, and I intend to watch the last two episodes of Lain before that. To give credit where credit is due, it’s a good OP song; I liked it instantly when I ran across it on Gendou.com.